Standing Still
by Kymwrites
Summary: This short story is based off of Season 2, Episode 11. It's not meant to be a happier story for the couple, as I wanted to write a scene about Derek discovering what happened between Ahsha and German at the arena and how the situation affects their already strained relationship. Although this story is during their breakup season, I hope you still enjoy


Derek couldn't shake the eerie feeling that followed him as he walked out of Kyle's apartment. Somehow Oscar had found about his former coke habit and wanted Kyle to expose his secret. He knew Oscar was shady and went to extreme lengths to get what he wanted, no matter the cost. Even if it meant blackmailing his star player to make sure he stayed on the team.

Derek leaned against his car and closed his eyes. His life had become an endless pool of drama lately. He felt like he was barely staying afloat, and the new revelation about Oscar's plan to come after him was just something else he had to worry about. Drowning out his thoughts in the past had never been a problem. He would hit up Jude to get him just enough coke to get through the night, but things were different now. He had to be strong. He made a vow to himself that he would never touch any kind of drug again. That's what got him into the mess he was in—on the verge of being blackmailed by Oscar and the reason he didn't have Ahsha in his life anymore.

_Ahsha._

Just the thought of her stirred up a wave of emotions inside of him. Hell he missed her every day since their break up. Although he saw her around at the arena and the games on a regular basis, the growing distance between them just made their situation a reality. A few of the players had invited him to private parties since their breakup but he declined. He wasn't interested in meeting women right now, not while Ahsha invaded his every waking thought. Even though they were apart and she had moved all of her things out of his house, her presence was still everywhere. He could still feel her, taste her and most importantly he still _loved_ her. Every part of her. Body and soul.

Ahsha was the only reason he showed up at Kyle's apartment tonight. He received a random text message from her that afternoon instructing him to meet her at Kyle's to talk. It was the first time he'd heard from her since she asked him to drop off the rest of her belongings at the arena. Even though he was completely caught off guard and confused by her sudden interest to meet with him in person, he missed her too much to turn her down. Curiosity got the best of him, so he cancelled his plans with Terrance and drove right over, contemplating what he would say to her during the twenty-minute drive.

He was more than disappointed when Kyle answered the door and informed him that Ahsha never sent the text. Kyle had used Ahsha as a ploy to get him to stop by so that she could warn him about Oscar, and it had worked. His eyes anxiously watched the front door during his visit with Kyle, waiting for Ahsha to walk in so that he could see her until Kyle informed him that Ahsha wouldn't be home because she was still at the arena practicing her choreography.

Derek drove around aimlessly to clear his thoughts before he ended up at the overlook, a place that was special to the both of them. He hadn't been there since their breakup. The place held too many memories—their first kiss, the first time they made love and the first time he told her he loved her, foreign words that had never left his lips for any woman, except for his grandmother.

The longer Derek sat there reminiscing about their intimate moments at their special spot, the stronger his urge grew to see her. He threw his Ferrari in reverse and sped to the arena through the side streets before he changed his mind. He didn't know what he would say when he got there. They hadn't spoken in a couple of weeks. But tonight he didn't care. He just needed to see her.

He pulled into the parking lot confident and determined. He remembered how Ahsha looked when he dropped off the last of her belongings a few weeks ago. She said she was doing fine and managed a weak smile, but her eyes told him that she missed him just as much as he missed her. Her misery mirrored his own. He almost threw down the box and pulled her into his arms to apologize and confess how much he wanted to make things work But instead he just nodded and replied with the same lie, even though he knew the sadness in his eyes had also betrayed him. He longed to reach out to her and make things right whenever he saw her around the arena but his pride always got in the way. But tonight, he was kicking his pride to the curb and going after the one thing that truly mattered to him now.

Derek made his way to the private dance studio at the end of the first floor, a small smile forming on his lips as he thought about the amazing dance routine Ahsha choreographed for their last game. Despite her own insecurities, he always knew she could do it. She lived and breathed dancing like he did basketball. And now she was working late nights at the arena to perfect her craft. He was proud of her.

He stepped into the studio through the side door. His eyes scanned the dimly lit room searching for any sign of Ahsha but he only saw a chair in the middle of the floor. He let his eyes linger on the chair for a moment, his imagination running wild with several fantasies that would surely make the night unforgettable if she'd be willing to give him the chance.

_Focus_.

He shook his head to clear away wishful thinking. No need to get ahead of myself, he thought. Even though it was clear she had stepped out, he decided to hang around until she returned. He would wait all night if that's what it took to see her. He looked around for another light switch and spotted one next to the main door. As he walked to the other side of the room, his feet tripped over an object lying in the middle of the floor.

_What the hell?_

Derek flicked on the light switch, taken aback by the reason he almost fell. He stared at the black pair of men's shoes on the floor in front of him, his frown deepening as he took in his surroundings for the first time. The sight of the scattered clothes on the floor—shoes, belt, shirts, a pair of jeans—made his stomach drop.

_Anyone could have been in here_, he told himself, trying to silence the warning alarm sounding off in the back of his head. _Ahsha's not the only one who uses this studio_.

But the feeling at the bottom of his stomach told him otherwise.

He took a deep breath and slowly followed the trail of clothing on the floor, which led him to a small office in the back of the studio, one that he never knew existed. The door to the room was closed but the curtains were slightly drawn.

Derek stood a few steps away from the door, his legs and heart at war with each other. As much as he wanted to take a few more steps to look into the window, his racing heartbeat wanted him to walk away. He decided against the latter choice when he noticed a gray hoodie on the floor right outside of the door. He didn't have to pick it up to know that it belonged to Ahsha. She never left home without it, especially when she had to practice at the arena. Without giving it anymore thought, Derek walked up to the window.

And that's when he saw her. He inhaled sharply as he took in the image of Ahsha lying on the floor in the arms of another man. It didn't take him long to realize it was German, their bodies intertwined like a puzzle that no longer had any missing pieces. Derek's stomach turned over in disgust at the sight of her long brown legs wrapped around him. As much as he wanted to look away, he couldn't help but to stare at Ahsha, who was sleeping peacefully against German's chest. The serene look on her face disturbed him, another hard blow to his pride. She hadn't looked that peaceful in a long time, especially during the last moments of their relationship.

He clenched his fists in anger, unable to control the scowl on his face. He felt the beads of perspiration forming across his forehead, his body running warm with emotions he had never felt before. He had never been a one-woman man. Everyone knew Derek didn't do relationships. But Ahsha had changed that. She made him flip the script. They had their ups and downs but they made a promise to always have each other's backs and things were good for a while. Until she felt like he hadn't held up his end of the bargain. Sure he broke up with her and told her to go back to German, but he never thought she would actually do it, especially not this soon. And now he had to face the fact that he had lost the one girl he ever loved.

He wanted to bust through the door and make his presence known but at that moment he decided it was best for him to walk away. As he turned to leave, he saw Ahsha's body stir out of the corner of his eye. He turned back to the window at the same time she opened her eyes and turned her head in his direction. Her eyes widened in horror at the sight of him standing in front of the window. Her mouth fell open in shock and she jumped up, covering her body with a t-shirt in embarrassment, as if he had never seen her naked before.

Derek turned around and stormed out of the studio, letting the door slam shut behind him. He was halfway down the hall when he heard footsteps running after him.

"Derek, wait."

He slowed down his pace but kept walking, trying his hardest to ignore Ahsha's voice as she called after him. She raised her voice a little louder.

"Wait," she repeated.

He stopped in his tracks, still keeping his back turned toward her. He wasn't ready to turn around and face her yet.

"What?" he snapped.

"Can you turn around so we can talk?"

After a few minutes of silence, Derek grudgingly turned around to face her. Ahsha shuffled her feet back and forth nervously, her fingers trying to smooth down her disheveled hair. It was hard for him to look at her. He clenched his jaw and tried to keep his voice monotone, but he couldn't hide the anger seeping through his words.

"It would be easier to talk face-to-face if I didn't have you standing in front of me wearing your ex's t-shirt."

She looked down at the ground and bit her lip. "Derek listen…" She paused and looked up at him. "I-I don't know what to say. I didn't expect this to happen. It wasn't planned."

"So you just took your clothes off and fell on top of him. Is that what happened?"

He hated sounding like the bitter, jealous ex-boyfriend. He really wanted to pull off the nonchalant attitude, the one the old Derek had mastered, but he had let Ahsha into his personal space. He opened up to her about his mother, childhood and things that no one else knew about him. Pretending not to care would take up more energy than being honest, and he was too tired to put up a front.

"I didn't do this to hurt you," she whispered. "I wasn't expecting to see you here tonight."

"Kyle told me where to find you, so I came by to see you. But I see you already made other plans."

"That's not fair Derek, and you know it. You're the one who broke up with me. As I recall you told me to move on."

He grunted. "You always did listen to my advice." He shook his head and chuckled. "Isn't it crazy that you and everyone else always referred to me as bad boy Derek notorious for having multiple women on my arm… but here I am still single, huh? I haven't been with anyone since you. And while I've been standing still and waiting for us to get back together, you've already moved on. But based on your track record I guess moving on fast is normal for you."

She folded her arms across her chest. "And what's that supposed to mean?"

He shrugged. "Look, let it mean whatever you want. I'm done here. "

"So this is all my fault, huh? You seem to have a problem accepting responsibility."

He glowered at her. "Do you really want to have this conversation right now?"

She challenged his angry stare. "Why the hell not? Let's do it."

He took a few steps toward her. "Fine. Let's do this. I accepted the fact that what I did to you was wrong and that it destroyed the beautiful thing that we had. But I'm not the one walking around here confused and bouncing back and forth like I don't know what or who the hell I want. First you're with him and then when things end, you come to me. And now you're back to him. I'm just saying. You're a grown ass woman Ahsha. You need to figure out what you want."

She glared at him and shook her head. "Don't make me out to be one of your whores, Derek. I'm not bouncing from man to man."

With every step he took toward her, she took one step backward until he had her backed into a corner. "We both know I would never call you a whore. I just said you need to figure out what you want." He searched her eyes for any sign that she still cared for him in the same way he cared for her, but he came up empty. She had her guard up with him and he couldn't get past it.

"Do you know what you want?" he asked, the anger melting from his voice.

She swallowed hard, breaking his intense gaze to look down at her hands. "I-I don't know."

He took a step back and threw up his hands. "Well let me make it easy for you. I'm done."

She let out an aggravated sigh. "I just don't understand where all this is coming from. You act like I'm the one who dumped you. And now you're accusing me of playing you and German and that's not the case." She pointed her finger at him. "_You _broke up with _me._ We're not together so I don't have to answer to you or anyone else. Stop trying to make me feel worse than I already do! You let me go already remember?"

He nodded. "Yea I did. And I've regretted it every day since then. But this isn't about just letting you go. I know where I stand with you now. So I'm letting go of hope for us too," he told her. He opened up his mouth to say more but closed it instead.

"Careful," she warned. "You don't want to say anything you may regret."

He paused. "The one thing I do regret is opening up and giving my heart to a woman who clearly never gave me a full chance from the start. It's hard to fight for something that wants to be free. "

Ahsha looked away from him, blinking back the tears that welled up in her eyes. Maybe he had gone too far, but at that moment he didn't care. The best thing that had happened to him was moving on. He lost her after trying so hard to get her and keep her. He willingly changed who he was to become a better man for her, but at the end of the day his best self was still out of Ahsha's league. And now he had to figure out a way to move on without her.

Derek turned around and walked away. Before he turned the corner, he looked back and saw Ahsha standing still in the middle of the hallway, staring in his direction. As much as he wanted to go back to her, he couldn't. His heart and his legs were on one accord this time. He kept walking.


End file.
